2 blog posts in one day.....it must be Mad Monday!
Well actually, it's Tired Tuesday, seeing as I am still up, and it's just past midnight. I can't sleep.
Poor old DP walked into a right old trap tonight. SD phoned him during the day, asking if he'd drop off the clothes she had come to ours in at her granny's house. We had things to do tonight, but hey ho, DP never says no to these requests, whether convenient, necessary, or not. SD asks in cute little girl voice, he says yes. Every time.
He goes round to granny's house and is met not by cute little girl, but by BM's hatchet faced mother. Who starts yelling at him in the street.
It seems that we have committed a terrible faux pas. SD has had fun with us this week. This is never to happen again.
Apparently, we have "played mind games" with SD and emotionally abused her. This is because we had the temerity to wash the clothes that she came in from BM's. It seems that we have been telling SD she smells all week and telling her that she smells when she's been in her mum's house. Hatchet Faced Granny seems to be totally missing the point - or missing a sense of smell, if she is under any illusions that a kid will NOT stink when she lives in a smoky house (BM is a chainsmoker).
SD tells us herself that she does not wash for days at a time at BM's, and frequently, she has BO when we pick her up that testifies very pungently to that, usually competing with the smell of the secondhand smoke. So, we do tend to chuck her in the bath or shower, despite protestations. SD does not particularly like baths or showers. She tends to get The Face on when told to go clean up (any parents or step-parents of teens will know The Face well). So, we are guessing that BM doesn't bother making her do it, in the same way as she won't argue with her over bedtimes, or teeth cleaning, because she can't be arsed. It does feel like an uphill battle sometimes. Nobody said parenting, or at least good parenting, was always fun, or that your kids would always like you. DP is, unfortunately quite direct. He will tell her she stinks, and march her to the soap. Hell, he does it with me when I come in from football matches. C'mon, who didn't have that as a kid, you come home all filthy and dirty covered in luvverly muck and what do your parents do? Pick you up by your collar with a peg on their nose and throw you in the bath, of course! But these days, it's emotionally abusive to do so....your kids have a right, did you not know, to stink! Parents, be warned! Stinking is the new smacking. Insist on your kids washing too often and you too will find yourself facing Soapgate.
So this, on top of the litany of our other misdemeanours like "forcing" SD on hikes and bike rides, mean that DP is an unfit and abusive parent. Oh, and did I mention that taking SD on a scout camp is totally unacceptable because she will be sexually abused? Hatched Faced Granny is going to set her policeman brother on DP, apparently, because all scout leaders are obviously paedophiles. Yawn, nothing that they haven't tried before....they've kinda exhausted most avenues open to them when it comes to trying to discredit DP. But, on they will go with their tired routine.
All this means, now, that apparently they are withdrawing any kind of co-operation or flexibility towards us (uh, wasn't aware there was any in the first place) and they will be going by the letter of the court order from now on. Well, that'd be a first for them to actually stick to it, wouldn't it! Oh, and of course, I am not allowed to pick up or drop off SD, because I am not named on the court order as a person who is permitted to do this. DP laughed and said that he wouldn't want to expose me to their nastiness, so that suited us just fine.
It's plain to see that this is motivated by the green eyed monster. They can't be happy that SD has had fun for a week. They have to twist everything so that DP is awful, I am the Wicked Witch of the West AND the East, in fact, just about everywhere, and that SD is traumatised as a result of spending time with us.
I realise that there is little point getting worked up about this. OH does not, any more. It does not cause him insomnia - he's upstairs snoring his little head off. I guess he's so used to the periodic bouts of mud-slinging that he lets it roll off him, he's secure enough that he knows SD is not traumatised and that she'll come back next time she sees us and ask if we can go bike riding again. Funnily enough, I seem to remember the last big shenanigans like this were last summer. Ho hum, I guess the sun brings out the mad dogs.
I can't help but feel resentful that our night was ruined by these ignoramuses, and that instead of the nice cosy evening relaxing with a nice home cooked meal and glass of wine, OH had to spend the evening phoning up his Group Scout Leader and warning her that they'd threatened to accuse him of abusing kids. Then he was too cross and tired to cook or eat, so he just necked a beer and went to bed. And I am left, awake and seething. Hatchet Face would love this if she could see it - just the effect she's after! And then I get MORE cross with myself for allowing it to get to me. And cross with OH for having had a kid with that detestable woman. Why do men have this uncanny ability to just switch off? I envy that.
Well, I guess it's about time I bit the bullet and attempted sleep again, though it's a toss up between the sofa with a snoring dog and bed with a snoring DP. Perhaps those clothes pegs we went round with on our noses all week because SD smelled so bad would come in handy right about now....