Monday, 17 August 2009

Why Dogs Are Great (and better than stepchildren)

So life is sucking right about now in Wicked Steppie Land. There's a million and one things I could go into, trust me - it all seems to have hit the fan at once.

But I don't really want to turn this blog into a whinging platform. I deal with enough whingers at work. IT Support is not a job you should ever do if, like me, you have a low tolerance for whingers. You'd think the sky had fallen in when they call up to tell you that something is not working. And by the way, what exactly does whining "It's not working" tell me about the exact problem in hand? "Not working" can mean anything from the computer won't switch on to a bunch of psychotic monkeys just raided the office and trashed all the PC's. You ask them to tell you some simple details - such as "is there an error message?" and they sigh, and huff and puff and say "Can't someone just come over?" Well, sure. I don't have anything else to do, it's not like I'm sitting here with a massive list of IT problems just like yours to fix or anything, so why don't I just pause my game of Solitaire and wander on over to your desk just because you can't be arsed to take a screen shot and email it? And the great irony is, by the time they have finished righteously complaining about why they are Far Too Busy to provide you with this simple piece of information, you could actually have had it fixed if they had Just Co-operated. And then, by the end of the call, it's YOU that gets labelled "unhelpful"! Oh, and never tell a middle manager that their request to have their screen saver changed might just not be as important as the server crash that's just brought down critical systems and you might need to ask them to wait a few minutes while you try and make sure the company doesn't lose a couple of million quid. Yes, I'll put your lovely picture of flying ducks on your screen while I call in the tribe of psycho monkeys to come fix the servers, numbnuts. I hope the flying ducks shat on your head as you took that picture.

Oooooops, I said I wasn't going to turn this into a whingefest. FAIL.

So I was saying, one thing I didn't want to do was write on here every day about life in the suckosphere. I actually don't really enjoy that, and it makes me feel bad that anyone who has made the effort to click the link and read the blog has to read a big outpouring of negativity. So today, I wanted to write about the one thing in the day that actually made me smile. That was, coming home from a stinking day at work and being greeted by my two happy slobbery waggy-tailed mutts. Hey, it was the first time someone today has been happy to see me!

Dogs are great. Until I moved in with DP, I had never owned a dog, but I became "stepmum" to his cross collie Poppy when I moved into his place. 8 months later, we adopted our beloved cross Rottweiler Bertie (formerly known as Beethoven, but who wants to shout that across the park) as company for Poppy, as she was suffering separation anxiety. Well, she got company alright - an annoying little brother (though MUCH bigger in size)! Bertie is a real mummy's boy, he no longer realises that he is not a little pup any more and still fond of trying to bounce on to mummy's lap - ouch!

So here are my top reasons why doggies rock, and why I'm afraid I have to say that I like being doggie-mama far better than step-mama!

1. Dogs will always be pleased to see you
2. You can tell a dog off and they won't sulk for the rest of the week or go to their other owner and try and get a different response.
3. Dogs don't talk back. Nor can they understand other dogs, or humans, telling them not to like somebody or not to do what they say.
4. Dogs know their place. And are much easier to train than children.
5. Dogs will defend you when someone tries to hurt you, not join in.
6. Dogs are pretty easily pleased with a bone and a pat on the head. They don't have any awareness of trends or how much anything costs. Did a dog ever care if the collar was Gucci?
7. Dogs mean you HAVE to go out and exercise every day, no excuses.
8. Dogs are good judges of character. My dogs growl when they see BM. 'Nuff said.

There are a few drawbacks however. Here are some of those.

1. Having to pick up dog poo in a placky bag which always seems to happen just as that cute guy you keep seeing in the park walks past. Ah well, he's probably a flasher anyway.
2. Clothes and house permanently covered in hair
3. Bathing dogs gets you wetter than them.
4. Dogs pee when they're scared. Be afraid for your carpets in a thunderstorm.
5. Difficult to go away spontaneously, hard to find places that will take dogs. This also applies to renting property if you have dogs for many of the above reasons, landlords are not too keen.
6. Ticks. UGH.
7. Dog farts absolutely stink and are bound to happen when you have dinner guests.

If you're a dog lover, feel free to add your own!


  1. Oh so true!! I wouldnt trade my two dogs for the world!! I actually had a scary experience this past Friday when a coyote tried to kill one! Crazy
    Dogs are awesome and to be honest I prefer them to most humans. They always love you and are such great cuddle bugs. The hair is insane, I hate that most.
    My one will howl with the clock every hour, I love it! They also ride in the front seat and stare ahead like a human, people always laugh at them.
    Sorry you are having a rough time, good job trying to focus on something positive!! :)

  2. WS - my Ed the Wonder Dog (Border Collie) is my 11 year old baby. He's also the smartest boy I know...(yes, it's ok to laugh and nod in agreement) My stepson's mom asked me last week if instead of her taking her son home, if we could trade...I told her no way...that's my baby...

    I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'd so much rather have my dog than her son...but I really think that's what she was trying to tell me...

  3. Great post!!! I couldn't live without my dog, even though he is a terror at times. Most of the time, actually.
    Funny story: The Husband often works late (sometimes till 2 or 3 am) so I let the dog sleep in the bed with me until he comes home (he's a big dog). Two nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to the dog hogging the bed so I shoved him off.....but, it was later than I thought and it wasn't the dog I shoved on the floor. Needless to say, The Husband was NOT happy!!!