Courtesy of one of my fave SM bloggers, La Belle Mere at
I was lent Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin.
Now, I love this book, and Wednesday's blog, so much that I am going to sing it's praises to the rooftops on here and I have not even finished the book yet! After putting the world to rights with LBM on (very fittingly) Wednesday, I then headed to a coffee shop for a bit of peace and quiet to start the book and before I knew it I was 3 chapters in!
Thank you Wednesday, for NOT telling me to put the kid first. I can't even begin to describe how fabulous it is to find a book for stepmothers that's been written for ADULTS. See, I've read a few stepmothering treatises, and just found a lot of it patronising bullshizz. And, like after reading many well-intentioned books, I end up feeling worse than before. Because no matter how many times the book tells me to grow the fuck up and be an adult and realise the kids relationship with their dad is far, far more important than my relationship with him could ever be, y'know what? It's not going to work, because nobody, nobody, but nobody, is ever going to settle for life in second place. And finally, along comes Wednesday, and tells us we don't have to.
It's an intelligent, insightful look at stepmothering, from both an academic and real world perspective, however Stepmonster neither reads like a dry academic essay nor a self-help book. Nobody is going to ask you to make affirmations into the mirror, or to vow to change your terrible ways. Actually, the one thing this book is making me do is ACCEPT myself just that little bit more - and feel OK about the emotions that I have surrounding this whole minefield I'm tap dancing on. Instead of constantly berating myself for not doing better at it.
Check Wednesday out at
and if you are a stepmother, the husband or partner of a stepmother, or a stepchild, or you simply want to understand more about stepfamilies, read this book. I cannot recommend it enough. And if you are a stepmother, lock your significant other in a room and do not let him out until he has read it cover to cover and then again backwards.
Oh and massive thanks to LBM for being my personal SM library!